World Café on Addressing Bullying Behaviour

Introduction

This theme explores the role of technology and digital spaces in young people’s lives, focusing on both opportunities and challenges. It was developed through recurring discussions across multiple sessions, where students consistently raised topics such as the benefits of social media for connection and creativity, as well as concerns about online bullying, privacy, and excessive parental oversight. The most frequently mentioned sub themes included digital safety, managing screen time, and the pressure of maintaining a social media presence.

What does bullying look like?

Repetitive and Persistent Behaviour:

• Online bullying is often not a one-time event. It involves sustained attacks such as leaving
  repetitive nasty comments on someone’s posts or videos, especially on platforms like TikTok, where bullies target appearance, actions, or expressions
• The consistent nature makes it increasingly damaging over time

“Every day the bully will say something mean, and the behaviour will be constant. It can become more harmful each time.”

Anonymity and Passive-Aggression:

• Bullies frequently use anonymous accounts to avoid accountability, making it harder for victims to identify or confront them
• Passive-aggressive tactics, such as subtle mean messages or mocking tones, are common and difficult to challenge openly

Virality and Group Dynamics:

• Bullies often exploit the viral nature of social media by sharing or amplifying harmful content
• Group-based bullying can emerge as peers join in to support the bully
• Group chats are another avenue, where individuals can be targeted collectively without a
  chance to defend themselves

“It can become a war to see who can bully this person in the meanest way.”

‘Doxxing’ and Threats:

• Bullies sometimes use personal information, such as a victim’s name, location, or school, to intimidate or blackmail them
• Threatening messages can escalate, including explicit dangers to the victim’s safety

Content Misuse and Public Shaming:

• Personal content, such as photos or videos, can be taken without consent, edited maliciously, or shared publicly to humiliate or harm the victim
• Victims are often shamed for their opinions, appearance, or differences, creating a deeply
  personal and emotional impact

Exclusion and Isolation:

• Online bullying often involves subtle but hurtful acts like excluding someone from group chats or ignoring them in conversations, making them feel alienated and unwelcome
• The exclusion may be paired with private chats mocking the excluded person

Link with Offline Bullying:

• Many instances of online bullying stem from existing offline conflicts between people
• Conversely, bullying that begins online can escalate into offline harassment or confrontations

Victims may face harm from both sides, with no clear boundaries separating the two

“If you meet people offline and dislike them, the bullying goes online.”

Bully Motivators

Insecurity and Personal Issues:

• Bullies often act out of their own insecurities, jealousy, or personal struggles. They may project their problems onto others as a coping mechanism

“Usually when someone bullies it speaks to a motive in their own life - very often when a bully is bullying, they’re insecure about themselves or jealous of you. Or maybe they just don’t like you.”

Bias and Influences:

• Bias-based bullying may stem from societal or familial prejudices, which bullies can internalise
• Social media content can also reinforce negative behaviour

Impact

Psychological Harm:

• The anonymity and permanence of online bullying can make it more emotionally scarring than offline bullying

“You can heal from a punch, but an online comment can haunt you repeatedly.”

“Actions have consequences, but not really online.”

Wider Reach:

• Public online posts can quickly spread, involving strangers who know only one side of the story. This amplifies the victim’s sense of isolation

“Bullying online may be worse because it reaches more people.”

How Can Being Online Be Made Safer?

Prioritise Privacy:

• Keep social media accounts private, ensuring only trusted individuals can view your content or interact with you
• Avoid sharing excessive personal information that could be misused, such as addresses,
  schools, or family details
• Restrict friend requests and only add people you know in real life
• Post cautiously and limit how much personal or sensitive information is shared publicly

“The more you post, the more you give others the option to misuse your content.”

Responding to Bullying:

• Block and report individuals who engage in bullying behaviour
• Avoid engaging with bullies, as this can escalate the situation
• Take screenshots of abusive messages or content as evidence to report to trusted adults, schools, or platforms

“Even when the bullying comes from an anonymous account, proof like screenshots can help identify the bully.”

Seek Support:

• If bullying persists, confide in someone you trust, such as parents, teachers, or friends
• Sharing experiences can provide emotional support and help resolve the issue

Confrontation:

• Opinions were divided on whether confronting bullies is effective
• While it can sometimes make bullies realise their impact, it can also escalate the bullying or shift to offline bullying

“If you stay out of it, you won’t get hurt.”

Parental Actions:

Monitor Activity:

• Parents should oversee their children’s online activity, especially for younger users. This ensures they remain safe while navigating social media
• Parents should agree to younger children’s use of social media and guide them on maintaining privacy and safety

“Parents should check up on their kids’ online activity but allow more independence as they mature.”

Social Media Platform Responsibilities:

Stronger Censorship:

• Platforms should implement tools to automatically detect and filter harmful content (e.g., curse words, mean comments) before it is posted
• Example: Roblox was cited as an app with effective word-censoring systems.
   

Improved Reporting Mechanisms:

• Reporting systems should address issues even when flagged by a single user, as relying on mass reporting is often ineffective

Age Verification:

• Platforms should enforce stricter age verification to ensure young users are protected
• Defaulting accounts of users under 15 to private settings could be an effective safeguard

“Snapchat feels so sketchy to me. The chats don’t feel safe. The whole app gives a sketchy vibe.”

Limit Connections:

• Features that allow random messaging or location sharing, such as Snapchat’s DM and
  location tools, should be limited

Account Monitoring:

• Platforms should identify and deactivate high-activity accounts spreading hate or harmful
  content

Better Regulations:

• Social media companies should develop stricter policies to ensure accountability for bullying behaviour
• Those who breach policies should face meaningful consequences (e.g. account suspension)

Collaborative Actions:

Incorporating Tools for Pre-Emptive Safety:

• Platforms could scan posts or messages for harmful content before they are shared, allowing users to rethink their actions

“Apps could have a scanner to check if a text is appropriate before it’s sent.”

User Education:

Educate users on online safety measures, such as recognising and avoiding harmful features or
risky interactions

Introduction

The school environment emerged as a central space for understanding bullying, peer relationships, and educators’ responses. This theme was developed across multiple sessions, where students discussed experiences of in-school bullying, the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of anti-bullying policies, and the role of teachers and peers in creating a safe environment. Suggestions for better peer inclusion and calls for increased teacher support were frequent subthemes. The repeated focus on these areas highlights how strongly school experiences can shape students’ sense of safety in bullying situations.

The Role of Friends

•  Across all groups, students emphasised the importance of friends in helping them feel safe
• Friends provide a sense of belonging, act as confidants, and can offer advice or intervene on behalf of the victim
• Peer support helps victims cope emotionally and reinforces their confidence, especially when they feel isolated
• Friends may report bullying to adults on behalf of the victim
• They also act as a protective shield, offering emotional support or even physical presence to prevent bullying

Trusted Adults

Guidance Counsellors:

• Seen as more approachable than teachers because they are not directly involved in teaching or discipline
• Students appreciate that counsellors can discreetly inform teachers of issues, allowing for
  indirect support without drawing attention
• Regular monthly check-ins with counsellors were suggested to address underlying issues before they escalate

Teachers:

• Some teachers are highly supportive, approachable, and effective at resolving bullying issues
• Teachers who quietly address issues without confronting the bully directly are appreciated for their sensitivity
• Other students reported instances where teachers dismissed bullying as mere "messing”
• Teachers sometimes make situations worse by informing bullies of the victim's complaints, leading to retaliation
• There are cases where teachers' actions inadvertently reinforce bullying, such as asking both the bully and the victim to "say sorry" without meaningful resolution
• Some students mentioned that teachers are not always available to discuss problems
• Drop-in hours or a dedicated time to speak with teachers were suggested

Support from Parents and Family

• Parents are seen as advocates who can escalate issues to the school or other parents
• Siblings and extended family members, such as grandparents or aunts, were also mentioned as safe and supportive listeners
• While many students rely on their parents for emotional and practical support, others noted that not all parents are understanding or helpful

Anonymous Reporting Systems

• Many schools provide QR codes in corridors or school journals to anonymously report bullying incidents
• Students value these systems as they reduce the risk of retaliation
• Anonymous reporting ensures privacy, making it easier for victims or witnesses to come forward
• Students noted that if phones are banned during school hours, accessing QR codes can be
  difficult
• They suggested that alternative methods, like a physical "worry box," should be available

Anti-Bullying Policies:

• Students expressed scepticism about the effectiveness of these policies in schools
• Some noted that bullies are unlikely to change their behaviour simply because of a policy
• Others suggested that policies are too lengthy and not well-communicated
• Students recommended summarising policies and presenting them at the start of each school year to ensure everyone understands the rules and consequences

SPHE (Social, Personal, and Health Education):

• SPHE classes were the main venue for anti-bullying education in schools, but students were critical of their impact
• Lessons often focus on definitions of bullying rather than its effects or coping strategies
• Students suggested including more relatable content and real-life examples to make these lessons meaningful
• Some students noted that SPHE lessons are not taken seriously due to a lack of engagement or repetitive material
• Video content used in lessons was often deemed unrealistic or outdated
• Students recommended that anti-bullying resources be co-created with input from young
  people who have experienced bullying to ensure they are relatable and relevant

"We need videos and lessons that reflect what bullying really looks like, created by students like us"

Mental Health Awareness:

• There is a strong demand for greater focus on the psychological impacts of bullying:
• Students want schools to teach about the emotional toll of bullying and ways to support
  mental health
• Creating safe spaces for students to decompress or seek support was repeatedly suggested

"Don’t let the bully define your life" 

Safe Spaces and Supportive Environments

Physical Safe Spaces:

• Students highlighted the need for designated safe spaces where they can retreat when feeling overwhelmed or unsafe
• Examples include soundproof rooms, "still point" rooms with calming music, and quiet areas
  during break times
• These spaces provide emotional relief and help students regain their composure
• Extracurricular activities, sports, and clubs were mentioned as positive outlets for stress and safe environments for students to connect with peers outside academic settings

Challenges in Reporting and Responding to Bullying

• Students frequently expressed concern that reporting bullying could escalate the situation:
• Victims may be labelled as "snitches," leading to intensified bullying
• Anonymous systems were praised for mitigating this risk
• Some teachers reportedly fail to recognise subtle bullying behaviours, particularly among girls where bullying can be less overt
• Inconsistent responses from teachers undermine trust and discourage students from seeking help

Complexity of Bullying:

• Students noted that bullies often have their own emotional or psychological struggles
• They advocated for counselling and support for both bullies and victims to address root causes and prevent future incidents

"Hurt people hurt people"

Coping Strategies

• Students emphasised the importance of maintaining confidence and "being yourself" despite
  bullying
• Many expressed the belief that "hurt people hurt people," and understanding this can help
  victims cope emotionally
• Victims should have a say in how their situation is handled to ensure they feel comfortable and supported
• Schools should avoid overly dramatic interventions that might deter students from reporting
  bullying

Introduction

The "home" theme captures insights into how family can influence children’s experiences with bullying and online bullying. Students across sessions frequently mentioned their interactions with parents, emphasising communication, trust, and boundaries. The most discussed sub themes included the role of parents in providing guidance about online behaviour, the need for supportive conversations about bullying, and concerns about overprotection or lack of understanding.

Parents should:

• Regularly check in with their children and ask about their day or concerns
• Seek their child’s input on how to handle problems instead of acting without consultation
• Avoid jumping to conclusions or reacting with panic when children disclose issues
• Refrain from lecturing children about bullying or dismissing their concerns with phrases like “it’s part of growing up.”
• Some students felt comfortable talking to their parents about these issues, while others found it awkward or preferred to express themselves through writing
• Students noted that parents who show genuine interest in their social lives create a safer
  environment for discussions
• A few students mentioned that gender stereotypes might influence how parents perceive or address bullying

Privacy and Trust

• Students felt strongly that parents should respect their privacy:
• Monitoring phones or reading private messages made them feel uncomfortable, even if they had nothing to hide
• Some students avoided sharing sensitive information with their parents due to fear of being judged or misunderstood
• Parents should trust the values they have instilled in their children
• Children may hide things (e.g., delete messages, turn off tracking features) when privacy is violated
• Students wanted privacy balanced with guidance, particularly as they grew older

“I lied about my age to get on Instagram, but I’m careful about what I post. I wish my parents would just trust me.”

Screen Time and Online Risks

Parents should:

• Set reasonable time limits on phone use, such as designated downtime before bed
• Encourage children to balance screen time with other activities (e.g., studying, extracurriculars)
• Avoid imposing strict rules without discussing or explaining them to the child
• Provide gentle guidance instead of completely forbidding phone use, as restrictions often
  increase temptation
• Students acknowledged difficulty in self-regulating screen time and felt that parental support in managing this could be helpful
• Many students described phone usage as “addictive,” with terms like “drug” used to explain its influence

Students recommended:

• Parents teaching digital literacy skills and online safety from an early age
• Parents supervising app usage and understanding the platforms their children use
• Encouraging independence while equipping children with tools to navigate risks responsibly
• Some students admitted to lying about their age to access certain platforms, highlighting the need for conversations about responsible social media use

Bullying and Emotional Support

• Students criticised parental responses to bullying that were dismissive or unhelpful, such as:
• Interpreting harassment as a sign of affection (“he just likes you”)
• Giving lectures instead of listening
• Overreacting by contacting the school or other parents without consulting the child first
• Instead, students suggested:
• Parents should collaborate with schools to address bullying in a constructive way
• Offering support without imposing solutions
• Helping children learn from their mistakes and build resilience
• Some students felt teachers could also act as trusted adults when discussing sensitive issues

“When I told my mom someone was mean to me, she just said ‘ignore it.’ That didn’t help at all.”

Parental Controls and Overprotection

• Students were divided on the use of parental controls
• Some appreciated limits on screen time or app usage
• Others disliked controls, particularly when they felt imposed without discussion or overly
  restrictive
• Overprotective behaviours, like tracking children’s locations or denying social media access entirely, were seen as counterproductive
• Students valued autonomy and wanted parents to guide rather than micromanage their online interactions

“If my parents don’t trust me, I feel like I have to hide things from them, even if they’re not bad.”

“My parents track my location 24/7. It feels like they don’t believe I can make good choices.”

Evolving Technology and Knowledge Gaps

• Most students felt they knew more about technology than their parents due to growing up as “digital natives”
• Parents should make an effort to learn about digital tools and social media platforms
• Collaboration between parents and children could bridge the knowledge gap, with parents teaching offline social skills and children sharing digital knowledge
• Technology’s rapid evolution has created generational differences in understanding, with
  students observing that parents often overreact to news about online risks

“We grew up with phones; they didn’t. They think it’s all bad because they don’t understand it.”

Students also criticised parents for:

• Posting about their children online without consent, potentially violating their privacy
• Believing everything they see on social media while telling their children to question online information

“My mom posts pictures of me online without asking. It’s so embarrassing, but she doesn’t see the problem.”

Collaboration Between Parents and Schools

• Parents should be informed about school policies, such as smartphone bans, and discuss them with their children
• Schools and parents should work together to address bullying and create a safe environment

Changing Times and Parental Perspectives

• Parents often compare their children’s experiences to their own upbringing, failing to recognise the unique challenges of the digital age
• Students found comparisons to other children or friends frustrating and counterproductive
• Encouraging parents to understand generational differences and approach their children with empathy was a recurring theme

Introduction

The discussions around spreading kindness reflected a strong collective desire to counteract bullying and promote positivity. This theme emerged consistently across sessions as students shared ideas about fostering an online and offline culture of empathy, inclusion, and kindness. The most frequently discussed subthemes included encouraging positive online interactions and leading by example in social circles.

Proactive Communication and Check-ins:

• Message friends if they haven’t responded for a while to ensure they’re okay, especially if their online activity suggests they might be struggling

"Seeing friends post sad or cryptic things online should prompt us to check in on them with a kind text."

Including Others in Activities:

• Being kind involves making an effort to include others in conversations, group chats, or online games
• Show kindness by respecting a friend’s need for space. If someone says they don’t want to talk, honour their wishes rather than pestering them
• Respond to others’ experiences with empathy and shared vulnerability. For example, if
  someone posts about a bad day, share that you’ve had similar experiences to foster
  connection
• Treat everyone with respect, understanding that no two people are the same. Avoid ridiculing those who are different
• Maintain a zero-tolerance policy for negativity in your online spaces, deleting harmful
  comments and promoting a welcoming atmosphere

“The way people share their creativity—music, art, baking—is how kindness can spread online.”

Small Acts of Kindness:

• Genuine, specific compliments (e.g., "Your hair looks great today!" or "I love your art!") can brighten someone’s day
• Nice comments under pictures or posts can provide encouragement and support
• Liking and sharing content created by friends, such as TikTok or YouTube videos, to show
  appreciation for their efforts
• Acknowledge birthdays, achievements, or other personal milestones with celebratory
  messages or posts.

“When I see someone say something nice online, it inspires me to do the same.”

Avoiding and Addressing Negativity:

• Do not participate in mean-spirited actions, like group chats that exclude or mock individuals.
• Avoid commenting on things if you have nothing kind to say, as negativity can perpetuate
  harm
• Defend someone being bullied online by leaving positive comments or questioning the bully
• Report harmful behaviour on the app or inform a trusted adult
• Do not spread or engage with unverified or harmful information about others

“Create a page where hate isn’t tolerated—it should be a comfort zone for people.”

“Stop, Block, and Tell.”

Appreciation and Birthday Posts:

• Create posts that celebrate your friends, highlighting their qualities or achievements
• Congratulate friends for accomplishments, big or small, whether it’s winning a match,
  completing a project, or excelling in a hobby
• Promote a friend’s new endeavour, such as sharing their small business page or creative
  projects online

“It feels good when someone makes a small birthday post for you – it’s a thoughtful gesture that makes the day special.”

Sharing Happiness:

• Send or share content that brings joy, such as funny videos or uplifting stories
• Share resources or ideas that can help with tough situations, like motivational videos or tips for self-care.
• Publicly support someone being bullied by posting kind comments in response or reporting the negative content
• Counteract harmful comments with supportive messages. Redirect conversations towards
  positivity when encountering toxic online behaviour
• Report offensive posts, messages, or behaviour to the appropriate platform or authority, and encourage others to do the same
• Use your platform to highlight important social or global issues, helping others understand and empathise with those affected

"Even small, kind words in a comment section can change its tone and discourage bullies from continuing."

Who is Impacted by Kindness Online?

• Kindness transcends age and roles, affecting young people, celebrities, and even strangers positively
• Those struggling with mental health issues often benefit deeply from kind gestures, creating a sense of support and validation
• Bullying victims feel disempowered when others step in or offer kindness in response to
  negativity
• Acts of kindness foster a sense of belonging and community, especially for individuals who feel isolated or excluded

“If someone is being bullied and you stand up for them, they feel like someone is finally on their side.”

Kindness can influence others to act similarly, creating a chain reaction of positive interactions

Increased Awareness:

• Promoting issues like mental health or global crises spreads understanding and empathy,
  encouraging others to contribute positively.

What Role Can We Play?

• Leading by Example: Choose to promote kindness through creative content, such as sharing music, art, or stories that inspire joy or connection
• Addressing Issues Thoughtfully: Approach arguments or misinformation with respect and facts, but avoid escalating conflicts that draw more attention to negativity
• Encouraging Generosity: Share fundraisers, highlight small businesses, or support awareness campaigns to spread collective kindness
• Small Yet Meaningful Gestures: Commit to paying kindness forward. For example, if someone leaves you a positive comment, return the favour to someone else

“Even if I can’t trust others in this world, I can trust myself to spread kindness.”